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Bright Spot PDF Print E-mail
Written by Gayle Nobel   
Sunday, 11 August 2013 19:45
If I closed my eyes for just a moment, I might have actually believed I was at a spa. Maybe even laying on a massage table waiting to be pampered. The music was soft and lilting. A harp, a piano, the sound of gently falling rain. The faint scent of lavender teased my senses. Ah, yes, a moment of peace. But not.

I was jolted out of my imaginary fleeting bliss by the sound of someone who was suffering. The music and lotion were an attempt at creating calm in the midst of chaos, in the midst of pain. Kyle is cycling. Yet again. Our 13.5 month period of life stability came to an abrupt halt on May 20. We are currently one week into cycle #5 and this one is the most severe I have seen in a  very long time. All the familiar patterns with a few new twists. It's enough to make my soul hurt.

We are in rough  waters and once again, seeking a solution. The solution we thought we had found (Agape vitamin) was only temporary. Just like previous solutions, one day it suddenly stopped working. Kyle struggles right now and has no quality of life. It's about survival. Lest you think I'm being dramatic, a visit to my home would confirm I understate reality.

We have some added challenges in that my husband Neil is recovering from surgery plus an unexpected complication that has made recovery well,... more complicated. It will resolve, but will take time. Fortunately, Neil is a doer and it has been hard to keep him from stepping in to help me out. This is good because I've had a few days of not feeling well myself. We are quite a pair right now.

And then there has been the added complication of Kyle's 1:1 aide who is stuck in the middle between our family, who she so dearly wants to help, and the company who runs Kyle's program. They seem to need her to be there and not here helping me. We had a nice arrangement before where they would allow her to come to the house during the day when he was so severe he could not attend the day program. Now, it has been a pulling teeth situation to get them to spare her for just a few hours. I'm working on that one. People don't quite get it until they get it.

Where is the bright spot?

Three great horned owls have been visiting us regularly for the last few weeks. Often when we are in the pool, one or two or all three of them will show up and sit on our fence. Stoically, they observe us swimming and even seem to speak to us with their screeches. They are really beautiful creatures up close and we have been enjoying their presence on our fence.

With all the life drama, I have not been out to the pool for a while. Last night I peeked out the glass back door and owl #1 was on the fence. In flew owl #2. Dang, those wings are huge. He perched on the fence as if he was keeping an eye on our house. Within a few moments, he moved much closer, sitting on the wall of our raised plant bed. Sooo, close. He observed us looking at him and reacted when he heard Kyle. Running for the camera, we returned to find our owl on the first step of our pool! So THAT'S why the owls have been hanging around here. They're drinking our salt water when we're not looking.

Our owl fluffed himself and drank from the pool. Apparently feeling safe, he sat in there for quite awhile. I stood mesmerized by this amazing creature. For that nano moment, there was nothing else. Just me in awe of a great horned owl in my pool. A sliver of joy buried amongst the plentiful sucky moments of the day.

Calming music, lavender lotion, and my owl guardian angel. Looking for what there was to love about a day. And found it.

PS I am also profoundly grateful for my two wonderful helpers, Tammy and Angelica, who stepped in yesterday  to take care of Kyle. Sometimes it does take a village. I would not have been gazing out my window at that moment if Angelica had not been with Kyle.

 

Last Updated on Monday, 12 August 2013 02:48
 
July July JULY! PDF Print E-mail
Written by Gayle Nobel   
Sunday, 28 July 2013 12:11

My life has been rather topsy turvy this month.

Buried within some unexpected challenges, is my July 31 in 31 personal challenge. I committed to read every day in July and also do a yoga pose called Pigeon. I noticed how much I enjoy getting absorbed in a good novel. I decided I could use more of that present moment stuff in my life even if just for five minutes. It's been really fun and I have gotten more acquainted with my Kindle and the guilty pleasure of instant gratification. I love downloading the samples and deciding whether a book is for me. As it turns out, the challenge has been to be able to put a book down once I get into it. Sorry Kyle, a good book is a good book.

Pigeon pose is a hip opener and though it takes just a few minutes, I've found it's easy to forget or give in to "not in the mood" self talk. I'm running 17/28 for Pigeon thus far and 27/28 for reading. Using the LIFT app (Iphone or computer) to track habits has been fun.

The bigger uninvited challenges have been less easy to conquer. Unfortunately, Kyle has begun cycling regularly again with each one starting out as a "partial" for the first week and ending up in full severe. The most recent one was a full week of severe tacked on to a full week of partial bringing back less than fond memories of 2010-2011. It appears his body has become accustomed to the magic Agape vitamin and it is no longer working its magic. I'm on to exploring other solutions and even exploring some things we explored long ago (food sensitivities). Hopefully, the cycle that ended Friday is the last, but if not, watch out because the Nobel's are on this!

I'm grateful for our strong team who have been extremely supportive to us and Kyle during these difficult times. Their attitude and actions have been extraordinary and they've been there for us 100% doing what they gotta do to help Kyle get through the rocky days. We even managed to squeeze in a wonderful weekend trip to Denver to visit our daughter and son-in-law. It was so great to spend time with them, see their new home, and sleep in!

Throw into the mix an illness which shut me down completely for two days and an upcoming surgery (tomorrow) for my husband, and we have a pretty full plate. Again, our team's willingness to step in and be there for extra hours and on short notice has been a blessing.

In the midst of all this drama, I have thrown myself into life coach training and the more I get into it, the more I love it. The learning and training is all about internalizing vs memorizing. It feels great to be on this path. And during Kyle's last cycle, it has been a nice mental and emotional distraction for me to disengage and immerse myself in coaching teleclasses.

Words of wisdom? Lessons and messages? I'm coming up dry so I will borrow from something I pulled off the Coaching Academy Forum. This wisdom resonated strongly with me and has been useful during the stormy days of July.

Attention!!

Give full attention to what you are experiencing. It is easier to see options when you know what you are dealing with. Invite your mind (intelligence), you heart (truth) and your gut (emotions/feelings) to the party so you get a well-rounded view of your experience in the moment.

What's really important?

Remain mindful of what's really important. If joy and peace are important to you, you can choose to be joyful and peaceful regardless of what's going on around you. You have the power to set your own inner climate. You also have the right to remain aligned to your inner climate.

Influence

Interesting point to note – that which is inside you can influence your surroundings. So if you fill your heart with peace, you will breathe peace into the chaos of everyday living. If there is worry inside you, you will deposit worry into your everyday.

Directed motion

Head in the direction you want to go. Life happens, this is true. However, we get to choose if we want to take responsibility for our lives. Put your passion, your choice and your vote in the outcome that you desire. If you want peace, pursue peace even if it means resolving a conflict that was not your fault.

Inaction and the gift of choice

Be aware of inaction. Inaction is a choice. Remain mindful of the choices you are making. You want peace and joy but have not done anything except mutter under your breath? This is a choice that you have made and this is fine as long as you are happy with the outcome – the absence of peace and joy.

Last Updated on Sunday, 28 July 2013 19:41
 
To Separate or Not to Separate PDF Print E-mail
Written by Gayle Nobel   
Monday, 08 July 2013 13:26

Autism OZ is now Autism World Magazine and Kyle is on the cover of the July Edition.

Would love to hear your thoughts on my article "To Separate or Not to Separate". (below)

 

 

 

 



"We've just published the July Issue of "Autism World Magazine," the most innovative global magazine supporting all those across the autism world. Available now to purchase via: http://www.autismoz.com/purchase-2/You can try the magazine for just $1 without monthly subscription plan. Works with iPhones, iPads, iPods, Macs, Windows and Androids. Our contributors are real parents, adults on the spectrum, therapists, scientists and caregivers living courageous lives on the front lines of autism daily. They share their experiences, wisdom, laughter and pain so others won’t feel alone and overwhelmed."

~~Iain Croft, Editor

Last Updated on Tuesday, 09 July 2013 20:18
 
TGFY PDF Print E-mail
Written by Gayle Nobel   
Saturday, 29 June 2013 17:23
I was beyond my edge when I pulled out of the driveway at 10:20 AM for yoga class today. The edge can be defined as that fine line of just enough challenge but not too much challenge. It is a state of being or circumstance which is just enough to create some uncertainty and maybe a small bit of stress but not enough to create too much uncertainty or stress. Going a little beyond one's edge can be a place of growth and learning. Going far beyond the edge is a place of discomfort and stress where thoughts and actions can't be trusted.   I would estimate myself to be at an Edge plus 4 or 5 this morning.

 REWIND....

 1- Monday evening my husband was in extreme pain. In protecting his privacy, I will say it was potentially serious, but also something that can be fixed.

 2- I was up with him during the night. I called Tammy early in the morning on an emergency basis for her to come get Kyle ready for his program so I could tend to my husband. Thank goodness she could. Later that day I took him to the emergency room.

 3- I was there for my husband in the ER as comfort, support and a second voice when communicating with doctors. He was later admitted to the hospital. I'm so grateful for the excellent support of Kyle's team who had him covered for as long as I needed them. I had two offers to stay with him overnight however I decided to come home to sleep.

 4- Long days at the hospital by my husband's side. Two poor sleep nights stacked up on the first one. Grateful that Kyle was in a good place.

5- My husband came home on Thursday (hurray!) and on that same day Kyle clicked into another partial cycle only a week after the previous one ended. This is number 3 in the last few weeks.

 6- A candle was left burning in Kyle's room last night. Fortunately, I think it burned out before he got his hands on it. Healing scented wax was dried on his hands, feet, and the laminate wood floor all over his room when I showed up to check on him this morning. The candle was under the bed. He did not set his room on fire. Thank goodness. Always something to be grateful for. And now the room will smell really good for a long time. I'm aware that some people get to start their morning brushing their teeth, meditating, and sipping a cup of coffee or tea, perhaps while reading the paper. I go for excitement. :-)

 7- By the time Tammy arrived at 9:30 AM to help with Kyle, I was tipped far past my edge  even though Neil stepped up to clean Kyle's waxy room. Kyle was a handful all morning. I had not found my equilibrium from the hospital stuff and scare about my husband and I was feeling even further off balance by Kyle. Not just the actual moment to moment, but trying to figure out what our next step should be with this drastic change in his health.

 Yoga is my salvation. Seriously, I don't know how I would or could maintain my sanity without it. Just walking into the studio from the 117 degree parking lot, (no exaggeration, this is Phoenix), and immediately, my stress level began to drop. Moving through the postures, working at my edge but not beyond, listening to my body, focusing on my breath, I healed myself one centimeter at a time. Ninety minutes later, a different person emerged from the studio. This was one of the most dramatic shifts I've ever experienced in my 21 years of yoga practice.

 When I arrived home, Kyle had not changed. However, I certainly did.

 TGFY: Thank Goodness For Yoga

PS I had another article in Autism OZ this month and just realized I never posted it. Click on the magazine cover below to view....

Child's pose plus five deep breaths is awesome especially if you have limited time and low energy.

Last Updated on Saturday, 29 June 2013 23:54
 
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