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Carrot, Eggs, or Coffee PDF Print E-mail
Written by Gayle Nobel   
Thursday, 12 August 2010 14:33

 Blog-a-thon Day 17

"The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything;they just make the most of everything that comes  their way. Thebrightest future will always be based on a forgotten past; you can't goforward in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches."  Unknown

A carrot, an egg, and a cup of coffee
 
You will never look at a cup of coffee the same way again.

A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as one problem was solved, a new one arose.

Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water and placed each on a high fire. Soon the pots came to boil. In the first she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs, and in the last she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil; without saying a word.

In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl.

Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl. Turning to her daughter, she asked, "Tell me what you see."

"Carrots, eggs, and coffee," she replied.

Her mother brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they were soft. The mother then asked the daughter to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard boiled egg.

Finally, the mother asked the daughter to sip the coffee. The daughter smiled as she tasted its rich aroma. The daughter then asked, "What does it mean, mother?"

Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity: boiling water. Each reacted differently. The carrot went in strong, hard, and unrelenting. However, after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak. The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior, but after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened. The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling water, they had changed the water.

"Which are you?" she asked her daughter. "When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?

Think of this: Which am I?

Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength?Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after a death, a breakup, a financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff? Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and hardened heart?

Or am I like the coffee bean?

The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor. If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you.

When the hour is the darkest and trials are their greatest, do you elevate yourself to another level? How do you handle adversity? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?

May we all be COFFEE!

 

Found this story  on Peace on the Mat blog by Jane Gleason   http://www.peaceonthemat.com

 

 

 



 

Last Updated on Saturday, 14 August 2010 18:13
 
Moments PDF Print E-mail
Written by Gayle Nobel   
Wednesday, 11 August 2010 13:36

Blog-a-thon Day 16

Moments

Timing is everything. Pick your days and you can almost be guaranteed some special moments. Pay attention and the moments are another opportunity to slow down and remember to be grateful.

There were some tough times for Kyle last week with anxiety. We’ve noticed these times are often followed by a gentle grace period. A sea of calm washes over Kyle. He is at peace and without anxiety. Everything comes easier and he can focus better.

We decided last night was an ideal time for suit shopping.  Wedding bells for Rachel and JB are getting closer and closer and Kyle needed a suit and all the accessories to go with it.

Kyle was absolutely amazing at the store. And, so were the two sales people helping us. Neil called earlier in the evening to give them a heads up on the situation. They treated Kyle with utmost respect, talking to him the way they would anyone else. And, they were extremely helpful in every aspect of the shopping experience while being patient and understanding. They even helped us spend more money to get a smokin deal on that suit too. Ha ha...gotta love marketing.

Moments live in the details.


  • Kyle walked into the store calmly and did not seem at all scared or stressed (sometimes an issue in new surroundings).
  • Neil took charge of the situation. Hurrah. He has grown so much in his confidence and competence in being Kyle’s guide. 
  • Kyle was cooperative and patient with everything! Trying on pants, jacket, vest, two pairs of unfamiliar shoes AND having his waist and neck measured. Who is comfortable with having a tape measure put around their neck by a stranger? Kyle was ok with it. Of course, it was just a quickie, but still.
  • New shoes of a type he has never had on his foot before? No problem. Walking was easy.
  • Kyle was relatively quiet and did not even try to take any surrounding paper to flap (stress reliever). He didn’t seem stressed so I guess he didn’t need a stress reliever. Go Kyle!
  • Kyle sat calmly and patiently while Neil tried on a suit and also got fitted. Make hay while the sun shines... and we did.

Maybe we cheated. Kyle was having a relaxed, slow, sleepy day and he went swimming before going to the store and it was late. The odds were definitely in our favor. But hey, as I said, timing is everything so why not optimize where you can.

It was so great to see what Kyle CAN do when his internal obstacles are in low gear. And it was so wonderful to remember how far we all have come from the days when Kyle could barely leave the house.

There is a story in “Breathe” called Moments. Once again, those words come to mind.

“I thought about what brought us to this place in time. There were so many roadblocks and unexpected twists and turns. How did we get here? There was no magic formula; just persistence, I suppose. Believing in more than what we could see. Trusting ourselves, yet also allowing others to teach and help. Growing in our own roles as guides in the school of relationships and life, as Kyle grew as apprentice.

And, watching for those moments.”

Needless to say, my son looked amazing in that dark blue suit. Now he just needs to practice wearing that stylishly skinny (according the the saleslady) red tie. More triumphs, more moments to come.

PS I know, I know, where's the picture? Forgot to bring the camera last night. 

Last Updated on Monday, 23 August 2010 13:41
 
Treasure Life PDF Print E-mail
Written by Gayle Nobel   
Tuesday, 10 August 2010 14:30

Blog-a-thon Day 15, but who's counting. (I am!)

Tuesdays are very busy for me. My afternoon is spent picking Kyle up from his program, driving 55 minutes to Occupational and Music Therapy and then after two hours there, 55 minutes home. If I have been a good girl in the morning, (which I have today), there is a meal waiting in the crockpot.  If you’ve read “Breathe” you know this weekly adventure is well worth the drive.

Last night I found out that someone who worked with Kyle about 14 years ago for a short, yet meaningful, period of time was killed in a plane crash very recently. Her son was also killed and her two daughters and husband survived but are in serious condition. All three children are 11 and under. This person is a friend of a friend of mine.

For some reason, I have been thinking about this on and off a lot. In fact, I had a dream about the gal last night. I keep thinking about her family and also about her and how she had so much life left to live. I also recall what a difference she made for us in the short time she worked with Kyle. She helped us make a huge life altering change in Kyle.

I am  reminded once again of how precious and also, precarious, life is. It only takes an instant for everything to change. That is the life lesson buried in this tragedy.

In “Breathe” I have a piece called “ Live Now”. The significance of “Live Now” can’t be overstated. We must.

AND this week’s words to live by in yesterday’s post, “Letting Go”. I believe that’s a must as well. Life is too precious to hang on to unnecessary baggage. 

Well, this is pretty heavy today. But I’m feeling heavy. Tomorrow look forward to something on the lighter side.

Treasure life!
 

Gayle

Image 

Last Updated on Tuesday, 10 August 2010 14:36
 
Loving and Living Well PDF Print E-mail
Written by Gayle Nobel   
Monday, 09 August 2010 14:35

Blog-a-thon Day 14

Still bloggin away, but admittedly, sluggish today. Sluggish and grateful. Kyle is back to himself and is happy and peaceful. This makes my heart smile. (Do hearts smile? Kinda feels like they do sometimes).

I was interviewed on KABC (see bottom for the link)  bright and early at 6:45 this morning.  Darn time difference! Confession: part of my brain was still asleep and I hope the words that flowed out of my mouth in the fast-paced interview made some sense. We will see.

There was a question about how I came across the mantra  “loving and living well with autism”. What I forgot to say on the radio was that this came to us (me and Kathy, my coauthor)  when we were titling our first book,  "It’s All About Attitude". We decided  that phrase summed up the message we were  sharing with readers.


Personally,  I know that I realized if I could love and live well with autism in my life, I would have conquered autism. I didn’t need to “fix” my son, I needed to “fix” my attitude. It took me some time, but after awhile I learned that “fixing” was a process. There was no “there point” to get to, this attitude business was a journey. And I would learn to adjust my attitude in baby steps, sometimes taking one step forward and then two steps back.

The phrase “letting go” keeps coming back to me. In many respects a shift in  attitude  is about letting go. And then letting go again and again. The more I can let go, the happier I feel.

Lo and behold, when I was doing the morning random card pick from  my No Place Like Om (http://www.noplacelikeomyoga.com/) inspirational card deck, here is what I chose:


Pain vs Suffering

There is a Zen story of two monks who were once traveling together down a muddy road. A heavy rain was falling. Coming around a bend, they met a lovely girl in a silk kimono and sash, unable to cross the intersection. “Come on, girl,”said the first monk. Lifting her in his arms, he carried her over the mud. The second monk did not speak again until that night when they reached a lodging temple. Then he could no longer restrain himself. “We monks don’t go near females,” he said. “It is dangerous. Why did you do that?”

“I left the girl there,” the first monk said. “Are you still carrying her?”

 

 Sandi (creator of the card deck) goes on to say "Pain (might be) the reality of the situation around us, but suffering is caused by our relationship to that reality, whether we can let go of the past, and by our attitude."

Words to live by this week: Letting Go

Listen to my interview here:
http://www.publicbroadcasting.net/wamc/news.newsmain/article/231/0/1685937/The.Roundtable/Gayle.Nobel.-.%27Breathe%27

NOTE: Still having trouble with the link feature on my blog so please copy and paste the link to your browser. Gotta love technology! :-)



 

Last Updated on Monday, 09 August 2010 14:48
 
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