AAAAttitude is everything… la la la. The lyrics bounce around in my head- one of those songs that gets stuck and can’t seem to escape from the mental chatter of my mind. I guess this is a good sign. And, probably a healthy mantra to get trapped within my neural synapses for awhile. I can always benefit from the reminder.

I was watching the video of my daughter Leah singing and playing at a local club. Much to my surprise, she had written an “attitude” song for performance with her newly acquired ukulele. As usual, I was dazzled by her stage presence and talent as I watched and listened.  It doesn’t seem that long ago she was draped in layered costumes and beads singing Somewhere Over the Rainbow on our brick fireplace.   I was  definitely feeling a bit nostalgic.

February is almost over and has been a month of milestone birthdays in our house. Time is flying by faster than ever. Leah just turned twenty and her costume and beads have been replaced by a classy hat and guitar. When Leah was born, my plate was already full and overflowing. I was caring for Kyle, who at that time, was besieged by seizures. I was trying to figure out the autism thing and had just begun an intense home program for him which required ongoing recruiting and training of a support team. I was also mom to my daughter Rachel who was a typical, active two year old. So maybe from a practical sense, it wasn’t the optimal time to add another child to our family.

Thank goodness we decided not to be practical. As it turned out, this was absolutely the best time for Leah, our precious blonde bundle, to come into our lives.    Leah added that extra dose of healthy balance on the other side of living with autism. I’m reminded once again; siblings are such a gift, offering a different experience of mother hood. Like her sister, Leah was a flower who with care and nurturing, bloomed on her own. There was no way autism was going to swallow me up now that there were two amazing little girls to love and care for. Somehow it always comes back to balance. Isn't this something we are all striving for in one form or another?

I don’t know if I ever got the balance thing just right. I’m still working on it. But what a joy it has been to be mom to Leah. She amazes me with her depth and creativity.  I admire her confidence and have goose bumps as I watch her bloom into a wonderful young woman. Her talents are many but more importantly, she is extremely thoughtful, kind, and very wise for her age.

Another kid to gush about? You bet.

Gayle

PS. Sometime very soon, you will be able to click here to listen to Leah's song “Attitude is Everything”. Stay tuned.

Leah

I interviewed a wonderful young man about six weeks ago who happens to have Aspergers. My husband, Neil,  provided me with his nifty, but very old technology mini audio tape recorder. Yes, TAPE recorder. Remember those little plastic tapes with the two holes that you stick your pencil thru to retrieve the thin fragile tape that has been pulled out by a recorder that eats tapes? Didn’t they ALL eat tapes? Nevertheless, it was nice recording the interview. I could really be there listening and not have to concern myself with writing as I went along.

The mini tape has been sitting on my desk for the last six weeks. I’ve been distracted by other writing such as completing the first draft of book #2, which I did yesterday- hooray! Finally, I was ready to transcribe the interview. I got out the  very old technology memo scriber that has been stored  in our garage for the last thirty years. It’s the one with the headphones and foot pedal. Low and behold, I got it all set up and it didn’t  work! Unless you count the high pitched squeal coming from the speaker. I guess it  couldn’t handle the Phoenix summer garage temperatures which can get up to the mid- 100’s.

Second choice- the  little recorder I used to record the interview. I would just have to stop and start it manually. Hmm… this one doesn’t seem to be working now either. In fact, it won’t even let me eject my precious miniature tape. Bypassing the eject button, I pulled the cassette out and it didn’t sound good. I  literally pulled some of the  fragile tape out. It is crinkled, but at least not torn. There must be a conspiracy against me posting this interview. Maybe I’m just doing something wrong.

Neil, my husband who can fix almost anything,  had the same experience in the evening only with some other tapes. I will not let him touch my valuable, crinkled interview tape. No way! It was determined after battery changes and frustration that I will have to go and buy a new, yet old technology, recorder to play back the tape. As of this writing, I can’t seem to find my tape after all that fiddling. But I know it’s here somewhere. I’m off to Staples!

That said, you now know why you still can't read the wonderful interview I did with my new friend Sam. He was awesome and fascinating to speak with. Hopefully, I will be able to post it soon.

Until then, I have a few treasures to share and tidbits of inspiration to offer.

I am reading several very inspiring books right now. Yes, all at the same time. Well not literally, but I have them all going at once and thoroughly enjoying it.

“When you wake up in the morning and things don’t go the way you planned them, or things start falling apart early on (like your plane gets shot down), or later in the day, when things don’t go as advertised, the attitude that you take at that point in time is going to be critical to the outcome of the day and critical to whether you are going to have a good day or a bad day.”

Col. Hubbard goes on to tell us he was born with a bad attitude and along the way it didn’t get any better. Further on, he tells a story of his first Christmas as a POW and how that was the day, while sitting on the concrete floor locked in a tiny prison cell, his attitude changed. 

This book is filled with powerful lessons. I’m only a little way into it, but I have decided it is a must read for everyone.  "Escape from the Box: The Wonder of Human Potential" by Col Edward L. Hubbard USAF (Retired) 

“Every path has its puddle. You can’t tell how deep a puddle is until you step in it.”
  "The Awe-Manac” by Jill Badonsky 

This book is loaded with short gems.

“Take the first step in faith. You don’t have to see the whole staircase. Just take the first step.
MLK, Jr.

“We are as happy as we decide to be.”
Abraham Lincoln (good old Abe)

He also said, “You cannot help men permanently, by doing for them what they could and should, do for themselves.” Substitute “children” for men and you have a quote for your refrigerator!

And finally… “Each of us literally chooses, by his way of attending to things, what sort of universe he shall appear to himself to inhabit.” William James

Enjoy these tidbits until the interview is posted. I’ve decided this is but another lesson for me in being patient with the process. Seems that’s one I am presented with over and over and over.

And you?

After a hectic morning, the invisible hand of my wiser self pushed me out the door today. My to do list would still be here when I returned and I knew a short hike would do me a world of good. Without pausing to clean up the morning mess, I stepped out into a beautiful balmy morning. Phoenix is not usually grey and definitely not balmy, but occasionally we get some moisture and it feels like a real treat.

My mind was busy most of the way up the mountain and therefore I didn’t really pay much attention to the surrounding desert beauty until I got to the top. It only takes about twenty five minutes to reach the summit of the small mountain behind my house, but I never fail to shift into a different mental and emotional state by the time I arrive. Today, I was greeted by the tail end of an amazing sunrise. The glimmer of a pink-orange sun behind the silhouette of purple-blue mountains in the distance took me by surprise.  My thoughts and concerns suddenly felt so insignificant in the larger scheme of things. My mood lifted instantly.

I became aware that it had been a very long time since I had seen a sunrise. Perhaps I’m just feeling more sentimental as I approach my birthday but I decided it would be delicious soul food to have this experience more often. The sun comes up later in Arizona in the winter because we don’t change our clocks. Maybe there is an opportunity lurking there. If I can soak up a sunrise once in awhile, it might help set the tone for the rest of my day. And possibly, as I did today, I’ll see a pack of coyotes doing the same. Or maybe they were just searching for food.

Allow yourself to witness a sunrise or sunset one time this week.

Cost: free

Time investment: a few moments to really soak it up

Possible side effects: a tiny shift in your awareness or your mood

Sunset North of France taken by my daughter, Rachel