It's the day before Thanksgiving and there is so much to be grateful for. I've been thinking about those on "Kyle's team"- the therapists and support people that give generously of themselves to help kyle be the best he can be. There have been so many in our life and several have stayed in the picture for a long time. I am truly grateful for their patient efforts even when they sometimes seem to get back  less than they give.

All those  who work with Kyle, help care for him, and love him- his team, his extended family, are here by choice. They have chosen to take a challenging path, whereas I have been placed on this path.

Gratitude is one of the most profound keys to feeling good and being happy. It truly is the sweet nectar of life. Gratitude in action bumps it up a few notches. With that in mind, I would like to pay tribute to some very special people in Kyle's life. Perhaps you will be reminded of some of the people in your child's life too.

Dear Rich and Kathleen:

Every week, I drive across town for music therapy with both of you. Kyle shows up differently each time. No matter how he shows up, you welcome him with music and loving arms. The slate is clean. He might be wild, he might be calm. You begin with him where he is and go from there. You offer him a competent role within your special musical trio. Often, this does not come easily for Kyle. There is a delicate dance of give and take between the three of you. Wanting him to initiate. To participate independently. Waiting. But not waiting so long that you lose him completely. Guiding. But not guiding too much. Working through his resistance. Respecting his resistance. No rules. Just your judgment and instincts to rely on. Somehow the end result is always music to my ears.  Some sessions are magical. Others, challenging. When I come in at the end, you manage to pick out the good. The focus is on what he did, rather than what he can’t do. That flavor permeates all your sessions with Kyle. Often, you share thoughtful insights of understanding. We still, after all this time, have questions for each other.  I can’t always hear the musical magic that takes place so you educate me. Excellence lies in the details.  We all have the same intention of helping Kyle be the best he can be. Add juiciness to his quality of life. We are a team. And a good one, at that.

With deep appreciation,
Gayle 

Dear Kim:
 From the moment we walked in the door, Kyle was visibly delighted to be at the restaurant. He shuddered soundlessly, holding it in, keeping it together. He has learned to control the screams of pleasure he voices freely at home. Using his straw ever so gently, he delicately sipped his drink. He waited patiently for the food to arrive and even ate slowly. He looked around, taking in the surroundings and then shifted his gaze to the side, to you, his guide, his friend. Ask me just a few years ago whether I could visualize this moment in Kyle’s future and it might have been difficult to picture. He did not function so well in places like restaurants where certain behavior is expected. It’s another one of those Kyle miracles. I recognize it took several years of your patient guidance and coaching, each week, believing in Kyle and wanting to offer him the experience of dining out. Some weeks were not easy. There were difficult moments but you persevered. Last night, Neil and I marveled at the outcome of your hard work and dedication as we sat across from our son, at his best, in the booth of a restaurant.

With  gratitude,
Gayle 

Kyle drums as Kim looks on

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