When situations or relationships in life break down,  do we freak out and panic, or do we try to find a way to repair the situation?  As a human, I have done both.  Like the vase on the floor shattered into a million pieces,  sometimes a situation or relationship is beyond repair. But, if there is a chunk that has broken off from the vase and you can find a way to fix it, it may be worth making the effort.   Like the vase,  it will never be excactly the same, but may be repaired and can still be beautiful and maybe even stronger than ever before for having gone through the trauma, the break.

Many of you responded to the post about the Theatre.  A few days ago I received a very special response to that post. It was an email from Sam, the director of Detour Company. My blog post had been passed on to her and it was the first time she got to hear the full story.

I believe her response, her attempt to repair the situation, is powerful. It makes me wonder if there is a cosmic reason behind what happened at the theatre because now another world is opening up for Kyle, one that may not have opened had we watched the show without incidence.

I am grateful that I chose to respond rather than react at the theatre. Reacting often comes from a surge of emotion (anger, frustration, hurt). Responding is more mindful. Though I felt those emotions, I thought carefully about what would serve Kyle best and responded calmly. After I took action, which included writing about it, I was able to let it go. And in return, something wonderful came back to me.

With Sam's permission, I am sharing her response below.

Gayle,


This is the first chance I've had to connect this incident with all of your names. I didn't learn about this until Joyce was taking care of it - probably because my son is the loudest, most challenging to control on that stage (but they can't kick him out because I'm the director.)  I have been appalled since the moment Joyce told me.  Because I had so many other pieces to tend and because I trust Joyce with all my heart I knew you were in the best of hands.  I just want to say once again how very sorry I am.  You and your son are completely welcome.  Babies crying, people singing and SOUNDS are all a part of life and especially the life of Detour.  Please know you are not only welcome but encouraged to be there.  One day your son will take his place on stage and hopefully we can laugh at how horrible this whole situation was.  Reading your blog I cringed . .I thought about all the open invitations to events that I have had to turn down because they really didn't include my son.  And so, maybe that's why I started this company . .I wanted a place where people weren't turned down (or away) - ever - without exception.  
The man who asked you to  leave and the usher were not a part of the Detour family.  They never spoke with us and you have just pointed out a huge over sight on our part.  I guess we thought if we just loved every one enough that feeling would spill over.  Obviously not.  No recording, nothing is more important than the invitation we extend.  We look forward to you and Kyle coming to the next event.  Maybe you should bring Kyle to a rehearsal so he gets a little taste of all this before attending the show.  (An open invitation to you.)  
Thank you for understanding we are not about sending people away  . . certainly not for the very folks we most want to  celebrate.  Thank YOU for listening and knowing in your heart it was a painful mistake - one we will be sure does not happen again.  We look forward to having you back and doing anything to make it a wonderful experience for all of you.
Thank you for your kind words re Detour. I'm truly sorry you missed the show.


Sincerely, 


Sam, Detour Co Artistic Director

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written by Monica , June 26, 2012

Loved your analogy about the vase, so true! Also true is your example of Reacting and Responding. Sometimes when people get angry, they are afraid to confront the person they are angry with, for fear that person will get angry back. But when you don't confront that person, you don't give them opportunity to apologize. Sometimes it's just a misunderstanding that needs to be cleared up.

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