Choice, too

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Choice, too

Written by Gayle Nobel

Monday, 07 February 2011 16:42

Blog-a-thon Day 22

I love hearing from my readers. I know I keep saying this, but I really, really do. A good friend of mine sent this to me today. She is referring to Day 16’s post “Choice”.

“This spoke to me, Gayle. I like the idea, but "allowing" versus "resisting" can be hard to do. Maybe it just takes practice. If you can "relax with the issue" while taking the "necessary action" to fix it, I will be impressed!”

Great point. I decided a reply would make a nice follow up post because I’m sure many people had similar thoughts.

Yes, absolutely it is hard to do. I did not say it was easy. I believe it is a process, or something to strive for. We may never fully get there, wherever there may be. However just knowing there might be another happier yet, still effective place to be might give us the motivation to want to attempt to move in that direction. To practice, as you say.

With some situations it may be easier to relax than with others while still taking the necessary action to attempt to change things. Believe me, I do not have this mastered myself, but I love to play around with it. In some areas of my life, I am proud to say I have relaxed and at the same time, I am still in the process of taking action to fix/change a situation. I have so many opportunities to practice this! With others, the relaxing waxes and wanes. And then with others, I confess to being fully un-relaxed. In fact, quite recently, I addressed a serious situation in almost 100% panic mode. I’m in the same human being boat as all of you.

It’s easy to get all feisty, fretful, freaked out, (or whatever F word you can think of) when things are not feelin right, when we want things or people or situations to be different. I’m not sure that always serves us well or is in our best mental, emotional, and health interest. However at times it feels so righteously right, doesn’t it? But at what price?

Maybe the word relax, can be substituted for acceptance. Relax might connote: sit back with your feet up and margarita in hand, and let the world and situation float by. Acceptance might be a better word although it probably wouldn’t hurt any of us to do more relaxing (the sit back type).

The invitation is to allow for the possibility and practice of acceptance one micro-movement at a time. Breathing is a good way to begin to experience what it feels like to dwell in that place. Or practicing for 15 seconds at a time. Or taking one penguin step in that direction with full permission to take a few penguin steps backwards in another 15 seconds. Seeing it as gradual movement and intention rather than all or nothing is helpful.

It may seem like the opposite would or should be true, but I have personally found the more accepting or relaxed about a situation I can be, the more creative and effective I am for coming up with action steps to move toward the result I am going for. Stressed out or less stressed, I am still not in control anyway. Darn.

My final thought is if this idea is something that speaks to you or me or any of us in even the most minuscule, microscopic way, it’s worth setting the intention to step on to the path. As my friend says above, it just take practice.

PS Wondering what in the world I am talking about here?

Read the original post "Choice"

“I realized acceptance doesn’t necessarily mean giving in to the way things are. It means allowing for the fact this is the reality of the way things are right now. Then from that clarity of knowing objectively where we stand on the map we can decide where we need to go.”

~~ Kamini Desai, Life Lessons, Love Lessons

"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference."

~~Reinhold Niebuhr, The Serenity Prayer