Bright Spot Print
Written by Gayle Nobel   
Sunday, 11 August 2013 19:45
If I closed my eyes for just a moment, I might have actually believed I was at a spa. Maybe even laying on a massage table waiting to be pampered. The music was soft and lilting. A harp, a piano, the sound of gently falling rain. The faint scent of lavender teased my senses. Ah, yes, a moment of peace. But not.

I was jolted out of my imaginary fleeting bliss by the sound of someone who was suffering. The music and lotion were an attempt at creating calm in the midst of chaos, in the midst of pain. Kyle is cycling. Yet again. Our 13.5 month period of life stability came to an abrupt halt on May 20. We are currently one week into cycle #5 and this one is the most severe I have seen in a  very long time. All the familiar patterns with a few new twists. It's enough to make my soul hurt.

We are in rough  waters and once again, seeking a solution. The solution we thought we had found (Agape vitamin) was only temporary. Just like previous solutions, one day it suddenly stopped working. Kyle struggles right now and has no quality of life. It's about survival. Lest you think I'm being dramatic, a visit to my home would confirm I understate reality.

We have some added challenges in that my husband Neil is recovering from surgery plus an unexpected complication that has made recovery well,... more complicated. It will resolve, but will take time. Fortunately, Neil is a doer and it has been hard to keep him from stepping in to help me out. This is good because I've had a few days of not feeling well myself. We are quite a pair right now.

And then there has been the added complication of Kyle's 1:1 aide who is stuck in the middle between our family, who she so dearly wants to help, and the company who runs Kyle's program. They seem to need her to be there and not here helping me. We had a nice arrangement before where they would allow her to come to the house during the day when he was so severe he could not attend the day program. Now, it has been a pulling teeth situation to get them to spare her for just a few hours. I'm working on that one. People don't quite get it until they get it.

Where is the bright spot?

Three great horned owls have been visiting us regularly for the last few weeks. Often when we are in the pool, one or two or all three of them will show up and sit on our fence. Stoically, they observe us swimming and even seem to speak to us with their screeches. They are really beautiful creatures up close and we have been enjoying their presence on our fence.

With all the life drama, I have not been out to the pool for a while. Last night I peeked out the glass back door and owl #1 was on the fence. In flew owl #2. Dang, those wings are huge. He perched on the fence as if he was keeping an eye on our house. Within a few moments, he moved much closer, sitting on the wall of our raised plant bed. Sooo, close. He observed us looking at him and reacted when he heard Kyle. Running for the camera, we returned to find our owl on the first step of our pool! So THAT'S why the owls have been hanging around here. They're drinking our salt water when we're not looking.

Our owl fluffed himself and drank from the pool. Apparently feeling safe, he sat in there for quite awhile. I stood mesmerized by this amazing creature. For that nano moment, there was nothing else. Just me in awe of a great horned owl in my pool. A sliver of joy buried amongst the plentiful sucky moments of the day.

Calming music, lavender lotion, and my owl guardian angel. Looking for what there was to love about a day. And found it.

PS I am also profoundly grateful for my two wonderful helpers, Tammy and Angelica, who stepped in yesterday  to take care of Kyle. Sometimes it does take a village. I would not have been gazing out my window at that moment if Angelica had not been with Kyle.

 

Last Updated on Monday, 12 August 2013 02:48