Blog-a-thon Day #22

I follow a blog called "Ido in Autismland." This is the closest I get to maybe knowing just a fraction of what "might" be true for Kyle. I know Kyle is not exacatly like Ido, but they do share some similar traits. Ido is lucky that he can communicate and has so much self awareness.

Here's what Ido wrote on Tuesday, October 16, 2012:

Accepting Autism

"In some ways I'm getting used to autism but I can't get too used to it or I won't get better. I have to strike a balance between the need to accept myself the way I am and the need to not accept myself the way I am, so I can keep fighting to improve. Not easy to find that middle spot."

Here's a wise comment to his post:

"You will find balance - it just takes time and patience and love for yourself. A healthy love for yourself will have you both accepting and wanting to do better at the same time... Love yourself fully as you are (in your feelings/thoughts), and keep trying to improve (through action). Happiness is important! <3"

About Ido:

"I am an autistic guy with a message. I spent the first half of my life completely trapped in silence. The second on becoming a free soul. I had to fight to get an education. Now I am a regular education student in 9th grade. I communicate independently by typing and pointing to letters. I am getting good grades with no academic modification and I am a writer of autism adventures."

Finding that middle spot is a life long process. Accepting and wanting to do better. Accepting my son and wanting to help him be the best he can be. It's tricky business, but I believe after almost 29 years (yup, he turns 29 soon!), I am often there. I say I am "often" there because I don't believe we ever get 100% there.

Sometimes, when you have come to acceptance, there's a resting that wants to happen. It feels like too much effort to work on improvement and you are feeling blissed out in acceptance. Or just plain worn out from previous battles.    It's important to rest. But at some point, it's important to see what can be improved upon. And then take small action steps to help make that growth possible. And in helping to make  my son's growth possible, I grow and learn in the process. Sometimes he grows just a little while I grow a lot.

I am with Ido. I strive to strike a balance. AND, accepting and wanting to improve don't have to be opposites. They can work together. There is a middle spot.

Quotacious:

"We know what we are, but know not what we may be."

~~William Shakespeare