Blog-a-thon Day 10

I seem to be rolling with the theme of awareness this week. The challenges we live with on a daily basis often feel magnified when we are out in the community with our kids or adult kids with autism. They  don't blend in the way typical kids do. It has taken me many years to get semi-comfortable with that. I'm still a work in progress. I was told a long time ago that people are often referencing me, observing me to see how I will respond, more than they are watching my son. Observing my behavior helps them figure out what is going on and impacts their beliefs and judgments.  Once again, my attitude, which then leads to my actions, is what makes a difference.

 I came across a comment from one of my readers. A "simple" trip to Target is something most people take for granted. In my experience a trip to anywhere with Kyle is never "simple."

"That abrupt shift from the "la, la, la" of a lovely hike, to the panic of "how are we going to get out of here", is one of the most difficult parts of parenting our kids (and adults :)).  I always say that I feel like a secret service agent...always on the lookout for trouble...even when there is none.  Always afraid that if I let my guard down and enjoy, something will go wrong.  Like you, I feel that I am more able to enjoy the beautiful moments with Dillan now, without the constant uneasy feeling in my stomach.  But there is always a touch of something lingering.  The other day, I got over-confident at Target with him, and let him look in the marker bins while I returned something.  When I turned around, he was gone!  The bins were right by the front door, and I couldn't decide if I should search the parking lot or the HUGE Target store.  I panicked!  Should I yell out?  Will I look like a fool?  How could I be so stupid?  Luckily, I did find him perusing some videos on the other side of the store, but I wanted to cry, nonetheless.  A good time to breathe :)"