Sometimes the best blog posts come from someone else's blog. Thank you dear friend for having the courage to write about your experiences and share your feelings so that we may learn alongside you. And thanks for letting me borrow this post. 

The Silver Lining

"Right after I was diagnosed with cancer, I felt shock, sadness, and fear. One day, I looked out the window into my backyard, dappled in the bright Arizona sunlight. My view stopped at the back wall, and suddenly a shiver went through me. Up until then, I had always thought of my life as extending to the far distant horizon, like the view I've had from so many mountaintops. On that day, I realized it might not be so. I could live only a few more years, as far as the back wall so to speak, or another 40 years.

This isn't true just for me, now that I have cancer, but for everyone. None of knows how much time we have. We all know that life is finite, but for most of us this is an abstract concept until a life-threatening crisis awakens us to our all-to-real mortality.

My "back wall" moment terrified me. But once I got past the fear, an amazing thing happened. I began to have a greater appreciation for every good thing in my life. The big Southwestern sky that I love never looked bluer. The rugged Arizona landscape seemed prettier than ever. A homemade bowl of soup I've made many times brought more intense pleasure to my taste buds. Every kind gesture, message, phone call, and card from a loved one filled me with joy and gratitude.

After "seeing the back wall," I also understood with greater clarity what is most important to me: People, relationships and experiences; honesty, integrity, generosity and love. If we don't have these, the rest of what we spend our lives striving for will never fill us up.

Next thing you know, I'll be saying "life is groovy," or some other nonsense. Not really. I just wanted to share with you the silver lining of this difficult time in my life. My husband and I are both more "in the moment," finding ways to enjoy and appreciate each day. Yesterday, after my second chemo treatment, we got to work updating our bucket list. Trips to Hawaii and Ireland are at the top, but it is quite a long list and extends well into the future."

Life is groovy, wouldn't ya say? :-)